dearambellina: melissawallace: youluvhercozshesdead: rachelmakeswaffles: imnotmorrissey:
hahaha..
Even if it seems immature, I’m not going to put efforts into friendships that the other person doesn’t care about.
I said it exactly how I meant to say it. Yet I still took it back, of course. I’m screaming in my head, I was always screaming in my head, to stop. Stop doing this to me. You’re tearing me apart, you were always tearing me apart. I remember just how I looked at you so close to my face. And my fear, I could smell it and sense it like I was on some kind of drug. But you were my drug, I’m afraid. I was afraid, and I was terrified. I cried so hard my lungs heaved and heaved, sucking in tired air and pushing it out neglectful. I was full of it…neglect. I was receiving it so much it was all I could send anymore.
So I reciprocated it, it was all I could continue to give. However, of course you wanted much, much more from me. It took just about every fiber of my being to scrap up some kind of effort to show some love for you, since nothing else seemed to work. Your anger and my anger just seemed to take away all ability and want and need to give you anything anymore.
But I tried, oh, did I try. All the issues I’m stuck with today because of you could prove that, and that I loved you. But now I cringe at your name, and the remembrance that I tried to give you what I could, but you treated me so terribly. I really wish you wouldn’t have looked at me like that, or touched me like that. I still feel so fucked up, I really do.
Xanga isn’t working. I’m sad.
But Happy Thanksgiving!
Made apple smileys with my bestest friend tonight. Hell yeahhhhhhh elementary school all over again! hah.
Pretty unenthused after my shower. Yeah. I should use some makeup remover right about now. Oh well.
I once cried when Captain America died. Its like how I watch Pearl Harbor and Titanic over and over a million times. I know it’s going to happen but I cry anyways.
Random memory of the day, hah.
For some reason I’m almost always wearing my Captain America shirt when I decide to mess with my webcam. I didn’t think I wore it thaaat often…but often enough apparently.
Got almost 10 volunteering hours done finally. 16 more to go til I’m done.
And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.
/Robert Frost
I don’t know I guess I’m in a randomly remembering poetry mood.
